silence aint helping

hufttt... again... again... and again... those questions and the answers are just a serious distraction to me... i still can't pretend to not to think about it... and being silent aint help at all ='(

the deadline has been set...

just like assignment, it has a submission date.. same thing with goals and targets, they do have deadlines.... so, i have set my deadline for this hard-to-predict-thing... we'll see how it's gonna be at last... which is next year April... i hope i'll be enjoying and having fun through out this few months period....

stay focus!

well well well... i gotta stop envying everyone and start accepting whatever i have now... maybe it is true, the best way of thinking is not to think of anything... i'll just focus on my target to get fit and have a sexy abs... XD

also, start planning on next trip.... awww... cant wait for the next trips, journeys and adventures.... >.<

ohhh... not forgetting, i also wish to have my own business... im still working on it...

ahhh.... i oso wish to spend more time to improve my photogrphy skills... =p

yeahh.... i got loads of things to focus on, so lets just not think about that matter that never failed to ruin my mood...

in to a deeper thoughts

there are lot of things that i want to write here... and lots more in my mind that i cant put them in words...

there are few things that have been re-appeared in my mind...

first, those sayings of an aunt that i met accidentally in a place where they rent dresses and evening gowns.. she tried to 'read' me.. and she said about something that disappointed me... things that i wish it was said the other way round... and it was sad to know that i cant do much about it...

secondly, the ages story about my palm hand's lines... which had ruined my day for few days back then...

thirdly, the fact that friends' and families' 'speculation' has never been discussed until now...

and now (which i think wont be the last one), another aunt of mine brought up this topic a lil bit deeper... with her humorous yet explicitly meaningful stories and questions, i'm still left hanging... tho at least i knew the 'aim' of this togetherness... but still... expectation has an expiry.. just like what my aunt said about one of her friends' case... that ended with nothing....

conclusion... i'm still in the middle of nowhere... trying not to think about it and just let it flow... but still, i have set the 'expiry'.. no matter how much i wish for it, if the thoughts aren't there, it is useless....

a quote that really hits me was written nicely by a guy, he is a photographer of a well-known name, axioo is....

'....maturity doesn't come with age, rather it comes with the acceptance of responsibility'

your words are your prayers...

i was saying few times that i wanted to wait for the time comes, but now... i am wishing for the time to come now... now i feel a lil bit regret for saying those words... i wonder when will the time come... .. .. . . .

anyway, we just had our 1st movie date... yeahhh... after 1 year 1 month and 4 days... =.=" and it was Sammy 2... cute tho... =)

emooooo

emooooo to the maxxxxx.....it is a real trouble to argue with a girl who are having her period and starving waiting for the guy that has had his lunch by himself.... and it is a real iritation to deal with a guy who can't do much but just leaving a short sorry message.... I would be dreaming if he come to see me now...

we supposed to enjoy our time together, watching movie and cycling around... thanks to him, all failed...

The Netherlands

Yeahh..... One of my dreams has finally came true on Mach 2011!

That dream was to backpack to EUROPE!!

It was a 17 days trip which has covered:

#The Netherlands#Germany#Switzerland#Italy#Vatican#Monaco#France#

Lets start with The Netherlands.... =p

Amsterdam is the first touch down! The four of us, call it W, M, F and P (initials) flew all the way from Jakarta (CGK) to Dubai (DXN), Dubai (DXN) to Amsterdam (AMS) on March 10th 2011, 00.25 a.m by UAE. We arrived at Schipol International Airport on March 10th, 14.00 p.m.

First day, March 10th

Looked around at Amsterdam City and we found this place called SEED BANK.

Marijuana Shop

Amsterdam is very famous with 3 things that are Legal here, but illegal out-there. The first was the Marijuana (above). Second is the Sex Life; marriage of same gender, legal prostitution (below).

red-light district

Second day, March 11th

We decided to go to Volendam with the local tour... Why? Because it is way cheaper and you have access to the Cheese Factory that you cannot access if you go by yourself.

our tour ticket

the scene on the way to Volendam

The third famous thing of The Netherlands is that The Windmills! =D

the windmills, Volendam

sight-seeing around

Visiting Anne Frank Huis right after we came back from Volendam. It was a very quick visit. We finished the whole house of Anne Frank in less than 30mins.. LOL

Anne Frank huis

Me, from the old times at Volendam, The Netherlands. =)

That's all for The Netherlands. I know that this is a very short review and not many photos are posted here.... Well.. It is because I have too many photos to posted! LOL... That's why I narrowed it down to fews and short... =p

So..... I am still looking forward to be in The Netherlands again one day, to explore different city... and Keukenhof!! I have not been there... T.T. I will, one day! =D

in mind: "solo traveling!"

"hey... how are u?" that a very classic question to approach your long-lost-friend... Just like what I did just know... wwkwkwk..

Well.. after so long never online on MSN, I finally logged on... and taadaaa.... One of my long-lost friend called me......... and yeah.. we are having chat now... kekekeke...

We talk about this and that... this and this... that and that... Well.. Most of the topics are about working life! LOL.... and we are encouraging and motivating each other... We also talk a lil bit about traveling.. =p

Talking about traveling, I am thinking of going for a solo-traveling.......... oh yeah! I really really want to make it! XD

I am craving for a sweet-great-escape! Kinda tired of this routine.. Gotta find something new...

Well.. It has been my dream to go for a solo-traveling... It doesn't have to be a far escape... All I need is the quality and the experience... But of course the safety too.. Since this will be my very first time and I am a female!

So, I came up with these places in mind:

* Cambodia - Vietnam #This will be the not safest destination as compared to the oter 2 options below. But I don't need a VISA to enter to these 2 neighbourhood countries. Also these 2 countries are the cheapest option.. *budget constrain* =p#

* Hongkong - Macau #Well.. HK.. Not really interested to go here tho. But then this is the possible dest I could think of. No VISA is required and not so expensive and english-speaker-friendly#

* New Zealand #Oh my! Definitely NZ is in the top list of mine and the safest dest of the 3 options.. But too bad.. it is not cheap to get here andddd...... VISA! Damn VISA! Why Indonesian need VISA to get there? T.T#

oh mann...

I wonder if I could make it.. Getting permission is the hardest part.... =(

But still... I am working on it.. I will be doing some research first... hahay! =D

Well.. I am off for work now.. I have logged off from MSN toooo.....

Somehow distance makes you closer to a long-lost friend... =D... hohoho

Hey! I am still at office!!

Hey Hey Hey!!

Yeahh... Just like the title says, I am writing this post from my office table with my Black-VAIO! Oh great....!

If some other people are 'trapped' at theirs office due to over-loaded works to be done, then it is definitely not the reason behind my case...

Well.. I am trapped here-at my office-due to the superb rain that has been showering my lovely hometown, Samarinda since few hours ago and the 'best thing' about it is that almost every inch in my hometown are flooded!!!! and I drive a Honda Jazz which has a lower GC (Ground Clearance)!

So... Yeah.... I 'trapped' here due to the floods!

and

Now, I am starving! but nothing to eat other than 'Disco Peanuts' that my aunt gave as a souvenir from Bali.... Awesome! =.="

I have been logged in to this blog few times simce few days ago and not only that I have also hitted "new post" button few times but at the end none of the written post posted in fact I deleted those "ready-to-post" post.... =.="

So, here am I... Trying to write a super-not-important-post just to make this blog "alive"....

Writing this post while yawning countless time in my office table.... Forcing my brain to "wake-up" and let my fingers do the typing..

After so long never blog, somehow I felt so lost... Don't know what to write, because so many things have happened....... good ones... bad ones.....

I even did not write the "happy moments" that I should have documented... =.="

Too lazy to open my lappie once I got off from office... and I just not sure how long that happy will last.. coz apparently somehow somewhat at times it turned to be doubts and worries... blahh....

Okkkk..... Lets just end here... coz I really am super sleepy and enegry-less....

AirAsia Reward!!!

Phiee was surprised that she just got a call from AirAsia.. That lady on phone said: "We would like to reward you as a loyal cust of AirAsia... bla bla bla...". "OMG.. Did I get a free air ticket?" that was exactly her thought at that moment.. She didn't even bother what was that bla bla bla... till the word "special offer for IDR. 80.000 per month.... " wth... That AirAsia in fact offered me a kind of insurance, called Accident Care... =.=".

Then through the whole phone call, she was "oohh.... iyaa." "oooo....." "hmm... hmm.. hm.............". The Lady: "are you interested of joining us?". Me: "Nope, thanks... I am busy now... byebye.... ".

Why can't they reward me with a free air ticket tho it is just a flight to Malaysia? It would be so much appreciated!! or maybe just a 80%off for any flight at any date!!!

I NEED A FREE AIR TICKET!!!! GIMMIE FREE AIR TICKET!! I AM CARVING FOR TRAVELING!! T_T

Blood Donation

Yay!! Today I went for a Blood Donation!! and I donated 350ml A-type Blood!! hahay!!

Well.. I went to the Blood Donation booth ALONE!! LOL

I was damn nervous but still force myself to donate! haha...

As a result, I fainted!! LOL

Fainted for few mins... 1-2 mins... haha...

WHY??

Well.. Actually this was not the 1st time I donated blood.. This was the second one... The first one was long long long time ago, about 4++ years ago, when I am still studying in Malaysia.

Anyway.... My first blood donation ended successfully.... I meant I did not faint or feeling dizzy at all... In fact I felt so fresh!!

But the second one.......... I fainted.... Coz I lied to the lady that I had my breakfast.... Besides, it was about lunch hour, but I also have not taken my lunch...... and and I went there all the way ALONE right after I came out from Church..... I was so nervous.... haha..

Oh yaaa....... not forgetting that I had my period right AFTER the blood donation... So, I conclude that today, I was too weak to go for blood donation... LOL....

I seriously have no idea why suddenly I got period!?! Well... Actually I knew that I am going to have period, but I never expect it would be today!! I thought it would be few more days ahead... haiyooo... But things has happened... Luckily I did not faint for a long time.. haha...

Maybe the reason I gained my conscious very fast is because I worry they will call my parents!! My parents surely will scold me like mad!! hahaha..... They never never ever agree on donating blood!! LOL.....

and alsoooo..... Few mins after I gained my conscious, a cousin of mine updated his status on BBM, saying that he is in MALL LEMBUSWANA where the booth is in and I was laying on bed!!

I suddenly stand up from bed!! Even the nurse shocked..... They asked me to lay down abit longer or sit down and drink more water... But I insisted to drive back ALONE!! LOL.... I suddenly felt damn fresh!! I gained back all my energy... LOL...

Oh yaaa.... I also would like to thank a friend of mine, R (initial) who was donating his blood in Sby too... haha... He keep me accompanied (via bbm) through out the donating session.... LOL... My turn came 1st before his.... His turn was after I gained my conscious.. LOL...

NOTE: we did not purposely set a date or time to go for donation together.. It was just a coincidence... =D

Not forgetting too, My Nyak.... Thanks for the support and the prayer.... and also her bf, W who convinced me to go for the donation...

Thanks Thanks Thanks..... Many Many Thanks for the supports!! XD

PampangLovers Video

A friend of mine whose birthday is actually today made a video for us!! Such a nice video he made. We (as his friends) should be the one who made a video for him.. But we were too late... We also thought of making a video for him, but we are still collecting photos of him!! LOL....

So, here you go, PampangLovers Video!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ch2Y6kdFMqE

and and and..... After seeing this video..... Something came up in my mind....... =D

"Sometimes we got to work extra or take the initiative to keep the bond tied still... Time might un-tied the bond if no-one cares and everyone hands up...."

the outsider... the stranger... the left one...

aaaaaaaaaaa~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

am I??

am I the outsider??

am I the stranger??

am I the one who left them??

or should

I put am I the one left out??

am I?? am I?? am I??

am I?? after so many years? am I??

I WONDER!!

and I just can't feel the feeling of closeness any longer..

it is like tasteless..... plain..... flat.....

it is like the only reason I keep this 'relation' is because of those years we have spent together.. it is like duty to keep this 'relation'... something that I must keep tho it is tasteless... feeling-less....

and the ironic thing is that..... my goal is just so contradicting....... I shall pity myself now..... pathetic..... ironic.....

but still........

am I??

am I??

coz I feel somehow I am the one that caused this happened due to some 'idealism'....... which now come to think of it, it is kinda right... kinda wrong....

anyway... things has happened.... no matter how many times I think about this..... no matter how much time I spend to settle this.... I just can't do much..... I can't help it... but to go on..... coz too much parties involved in this so called 'relation'...

to settle this...... lets just blame me..... coz I wasn't able to keep this feeling.....

Today......

today my hair was like a broom, flat - oily face like a fying pan, sleepy eyes with dark circle and eye bags, and and I got so many things going on around....

but the funniest thing was that I keep on thinking of something,,,, from the moment I woke up till this moment when i am writing this post... something that I really am don't know why it is keep on appearing..... but I think I know what it is... hahaha.... contradicting myself... LOL...

then, when I got home late from work, my house was having electicity cut! wow.. I was "shit, why no electic?"..

but then, after a short "kai kai", I came up with an idea! haha... and since than my mood is lifted up and and also because of those people who really bings my mood back... thanks alot! *hugs*

12:21 on April 21 2011.. XD

Welll.... My watch show 12:21 on 21 April 2011!!

Yay!! I finally turned to be 22 years old!! ahaha..... Feeling so old eventhough it is just adding a small number, ONE.... huhuhu....

anyway...

I am not really sad about turning to 22!! In fact I am glad that I have finally one more step further to adultness..

Welll...... Many people said adulthood is not fun, but what can you do about age?? Can you just return to baby or teens again? NO, you can't, right? So, why don't you just enjoy whatever it is.... just walk, just go with the flow.. =)

hahay! I am talking as if i am a pro... I am not!! hahaha.... I just just wanna be thankful to God for giving me chance to be alive, here, now....

Thankful for the family that He has chosen for me
Thankful for friends that He has given to me
Thankful for whatever good or bad experiences in my past that has shaped me to be who I am now..... =D

Thankful

Thankful

Thankful

Thankful for whatever that He has planned for me!

You only have one chance to be alive for who you are... There will be no second chance... So, come on.... move on..... leave your past behind... let your past be your history... let your past teach you on how precious life is! let your past give color to your life!! XD

SO... yaaa....... Thats allll from me....... I have not really writing a post since few months agooo.. hahaha..... and I found that my english is getting sucks! LOL.... so sad.. huhuh....

Anywayssss...... for whoever in this world who share the same birthday with me,,,,,,

A VERY HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!

May this year will be a better year than the previous ones! and lets continue to 'write' great stories in our life!! XD

*hugs* *kisses* XOXO

My Thought!!! My Mind!!!

"Whats on your mind??" well... travel travel travel.. travel here and there... go here and there.... imagine if i were here and there... here and there.. here and there... here and there... my thought right now is here and there.... my mind is there, but body is hereee... cheeeeeh..... =.=" I am dreaming now...

Priceless and Irreplaceable

If I got the chance to travel in time,,,
I would like to return to my life few years ago...

Not to change a single thing,,
instead
I want to experience the whole thing one more time...

Those days,,,,,
Those laughs,,,,
Those tears,,,,
Those conflicts,,,
Those arguments,,,,
Those kindness



are

priceless and irreplaceable....

Contradicting

I don't want to do things that I don't wish to do..

but

I really am hoping for something to happen...

but

If that something happen, I have no choice but to do the things that I don't wish to do....

but

everyone will have to go through this session in their life...

so,

I have decided to see what the future says...

If I really have to do it, then I will....

For now, I really am hoping for that something to happen.... Hope it will....

Risk VS Worthinesssss

xxx is wondering if she is aware of the risk she is taking............. well..... she is... yet she insist.... is it worth it? Don't know... =p. let JC does His part... not a thing happen without a reason, isn't it? =p

draft that I almost post on FB.... haha.... I guess abit too private...... so, I posted here... just to express my feelings.... =p